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Dating Red Flags:
When Some Things About Him Just Don’t Add Up, Get A Confidential Background Check, Before You Put Your Safety In His Hands By Dating Him For The First Time

By Juliet Klee, author of Online Dating Truth

Dating Article Summary: Dating men you’ve met online for the first time can be frightening, but getting a confidential background check on him before the first date can help you decide much sooner if he’s a keeper or a loser. Learn where and how to get a background check, including a search of criminal, property, marriage, divorce, sexual predator records. It pays to verify the things he says about himself and put your mind at ease.

Ok, after joining an online dating service you have now found and contacted a man that you find interesting. Not only that you now spend a great deal of time chatting, emailing and instant messaging each other. How long have you known him? Is the next step to meet face-to-face for a casual date?

Your next step needs to be the right step

In the back of your mind you are hoping that he is the one. That makes you feel really good thinking that he is the one. Or that at least he could be the one. But then along come these nagging feelings of doubt. Some things just don’t seem to add up. Or do they? Oh, well things will all work out in the end. He is probably just a very private person. That’s why he’s given you so little truly detailed information about himself while you have poured your heart out like an open book.

It is odd that you can only talk at certain times and only if he calls you on his cell phone. But oh well, why make waves? Oh, well things will all work out in the end. He says he wants to meet you, to smell your perfume, to look into your eyes.

He’s even offered to come pick you up for coffee or a hike or a picnic in the park. You still have not given him your home address. You really want to trust him totally after all you sure are hoping that he is the one. Maybe next time he calls you’ll agree to meet him. But then along come these nagging feelings and doubts. Oh, well things will all work out in the end. Maybe this says it all:

  • “We interrupt your dating complacency to bring you this important announcement:

    Always Get A Background Check Before First Dating Or Meeting a Stranger You Met Online! – Dating Safety begins by smart singles, especially women, deciding to be their own Dating Detective to do background checks on men before dating or sharing any personal information. The service we highly recommend allows you to do an unlimited number of dating background checks on the single men you date without them ever even knowing it. So you can find out about any man you are interested in and see if he is really a liar, or married, or worse yet, a convicted criminal or sex offender, before it is too late–your first date and maybe even your life depends on knowing the truth.”

It is one thing to be overly paranoid and untrusting. It is quite another thing to be totally naïve and easy prey for some liar, married cheater, criminal or pervert.

It would be a shame to throw away what might possibly turn out to be the long term dating relationship you’ve been hoping for just because you may feel anxious or suspicious. In fact the very reason you joined an online dating service in the first place was to hopefully find a husband—a husband of your own of course, not someone else’s husband who is stealthfully cheating on her through an online dating service.

It would also be a shame to throw your life away because you did not heed the intuition and feelings that could have saved it. So what to do? You want him. You just don’t know if you can totally trust him. After all you have never even seen him face to face, and truth be told, you do not really truly know all about him—only what he has revealed. Yes, you have some doubts gnawing away at the gateway to that marvellous intuition God gave to us women. It is time for a dating background check. Don’t be afraid of what you can find out about him by getting a dating background check. Be afraid of not knowing if you can truly trust him.

It never hurts to verify who he says he is and what he has told you about himself.

Do not be afraid to get a dating background check. It can actually help you and your budding relationship in the long run. After getting a dating background check on a man that peaked their interest, some women have found that the man, who appeared to be hiding something turned out perfectly “safe” to date. In fact, after that, as more time went into the relationship the women found that, gee, guys can be just as shy, skiddish and cautious as us women when it comes to relationships.

Some men have hearts of pure gold, but they are just very private and uncommunicative especially at first. Others are hard hearted liars, losers, scammers, cheating husbands and others are rock hardened criminals or worse yet, stone cold sexual predators. Getting a dating background check can help you sift through the rocks, stones and gravel to see if a man is really the pure golden nugget of honesty that you have been hoping for.

How does a dating background check work, you wonder?

No matter how long ago they may have occurred, any criminal convictions can be reported in a background check on the man you are planning to meet face-to-face for the first time after contacting them through an online dating service. This very fact alone makes it well worth the effort, but there’s more.

Because of the Fair Credit Reporting Act there are certain items and certain time frames involved in a background check involving the following:

You can discover any of the following before seven years has elapsed: records of paid tax liens, accounts or debts turned over to a collection agency, any civil suits, judgments, records of arrest or any other negative information as long as it is less than seven years old.

A background check shows only bankruptcies that are not more than ten years old.

And that is probably a good thing because it allows people a seven-year or ten-year chance to change. For example perhaps you, a real stickler about good money management, meet someone who is clearly not the same person they were ten or more years ago. And let us just say this person you met though an online dating service was young and foolish in the early part of their life and ran up a huge credit card debt, car debt, etc. and soon filed for bankruptcy protection.

Suppose they also caved in under the financial pressure, became an alcoholic and were arrested for DWI. Later they came to their senses, dried out and became a model of frugality and solvency. Then about ten years later you meet them through an online dating service. Now they are not the same foolish, irresponsible person that they were when they were younger and they learned some hard lessons, which have certainly shaped their character for the better.

Should you hold something that happened over ten years ago against that person? Now, more than ten years later, is it fair to allow a background check to taint a budding dating relationship? It depends upon the individuals involved. Doesn’t it? But name one perfect man other than Jesus Christ himself who has never done anything wrong or made a mistake in their entire lifetime.

What to do with the dating background search information once you get it?

So, obviously what you do with the information obtained in a background check is just as important as getting one in the first place. “Better safe than sorry” but also “Better loving and not judgemental” either. We all have to live with ourselves.

So make getting a background check on a man you are interested in all about these three things:

  1. A matter of confirming that what he says is true and who he says he is checks out. For example, if he says he’s never been married and public records show that he is actually currently married, well then you’ve got mixed up with a married liar who’s been using online dating sites to cheat on his wife.
  2. A matter of your comfort, after all, you have every right to require a background check on him for your own physical and emotional safety and peace of mind before first taking the next BIG STEP of meeting your online love interest face-to-face.
  3. A matter of respect for your wishes and feelings. YOU CAN SECRETLY GET A BACKGROUND CHECK ON ANYONE BY USING the services at, or you can let the man know that you want to get a background check on him before meeting him face-to-face. If you decide to tell him, make it more about your comfort level. Not about your mistrust of him or fear of him. Words like, “I just want to have our relationship get off to a good start, and I need to feel comfortable about all the things you have told me about yourself. Please try to understand that if you really care about me, you will want me to feel comfortable in our relationship?”

A true gentleman with nothing to hide will not only go along with it, he might even offer to pay for you to get a background check on him out of respect for your feelings.

For more dating tips by Juliet Klee on how to avoid dating the frogs (losers) and find your true prince charming visit and remember dating safety begins with getting a dating background check before your first date with an online stranger. Copyright © 2009 Nextin, Inc. All rights reserved.

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